Day 6:
Today was a rough day! E had told a friend at school that his mom was on drugs so they can't live with her which is why he is coming to me. (I didn't know this until today) His friend decided that today at lunch was a great time to tell their whole class. You can imagine E's feelings on this. The teacher in the lunch room talked to E and the friend. The friend was sent away from the table and the class was talked to as well. E was pretty upset about it and we talked about it on the way home tonight. When we were close to home The case worker called and wanted to see E since he had been at soccer practice the other night. I said ok and told him that she was coming. When she got here they went in his room to talk. He immediately climbed into the corner of his bed. She tried to talk to him and he started telling her she hated him. She ruined his life. And then he starts screaming at the top of his lungs help help she's hurting me she's trying to kill me... And keeps on until The case worker left his room. She was pretty shook up at his reaction. She and I talked about the school incident and his need for counseling. After she left I went looking for him to check on him and couldn't find him. Took me a good 10 minutes to find him hiding in one of the window seats. He was crying. I climbed up with him and talked. I explained we'd been trying to get him since April. We wanted him to stay with his siblings, stay in his school, and be safe. He sat and listened but continued to cry. I eventually left him and after a while he came out smiling again. Those smiles are just a cover for a very deep hurt right now.
Then tonight after bath I was putting As pjs on and she looked at me and said she wanted to go home. I told her this was her home now. She said no I need to go to my Tia's home . I don't want to stay here. It's so hard to hear them hurt and know how much they miss their family!
High moments:
Sweet friends gave us dinner!
We all got up and moving in the morning.
Es conversation with me was dreadful but the first real emotion he's shown. I think that's progress.
Zachary was in full blown three year old mode today. He was horrible. Add that to everything else this evening and the three waking hours we had together were not pretty.
This is a crazy roller coaster ride and definitely not easy.
Day 7
Today was better! We had dinner from a sweet friend (Martha Lewis they all did take at least one bite of broccoli for you!!). E still had some issues at school and on the way home but seemed to have worked it out by the time we got home. Lots of side conversations going on as he struggles and tests. Then my friend came over and just hung out with us to be extra eyes, hands, and cuddles! Thank goodness for friends like that after last night! I'm going on day 3 of very little voice, not feeling great, I bet my attitude and perspective will improve as I feel better! Thank you for praying for us! Thank you for lifting up our family. We have such sweet moments. A few nights ago J asked us why we always pray and tell God thank you. We had a talk about how we say thank you when someone gives us something like ice cream. We then told him God made everything even him! So we try to remember to tell Him thank you every day.
Things that get me through:
-Knowing we were called to this!
-Having your words of encouragement!
-Little things we have accomplished... We now say excuse me after we burp instead of laughing, we know that we have to pick up the bucket of toys we have out before getting more, we know how to put clothes on the laundry hamper (all but my 12 year old... Grrr), and we know what our assigned color is for toothbrush, cup, towel, etc.
- we have food ready for us since I can't get it together yet! (PS for those of you who have brought food... E's prayer for tonight: Thank you God for all of these nice people who bring us food!)
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